by alpha femme » December 20th, 2006, 12:59 pm
thanks, jlaman. everyone's websites are accessible throught the www link at the bottom of their posts. if my personality is so great, why can't i get laid?
i'm kidding, i'm kidding.... kind of.
really, i am still fat. obnxiously fat. my losses have slowed to a crawl, and i don't know if it's because my body is strongly objecting to the fact that i have lost the equivalent of a full-grown man. why the hell didn't it object to putting that much weight ON? stupid body.
i have friends who actually will argue with me about my level of fatness. someone told me yesterday that i was "chubby." 218 is not chubby! well, if i was 6' tall it might be, but i'm short and round. i also get told frequently that, now that i have lost weight, i "wasn't meant to be a fat girl." the idea behind this comment is that some people are just meant to be fluffy.
on a personal note, i met someone who is apparently as fickle as me. of course, that was the one i actually liked, but she isn't as into me as she should be if there was potential between us. so, alas, i'm still celibate. yay! it's by choice, though.
oh, yeah. with every pound i lose, my skin is getting worse. i am actually getting LUMPY now. that's right, my stomache is beginning to look like over-cooked oatmeal. and, just like that oatmeal... no one is gonna eat it. i told my friend this morning that i should just get fat again, because all of the things i took hedonistic pleasure in are so removed from me that i feel alienated from myself.
i would also like to comment on a topic that has come up in a different thread. we are NOT the same people after massive weight loss. i know that through my own personal experiences through my loss and that of my ex-- as well as a couple of others. i'm not saying that if you lose 10#, you become someone else. however, it is extrememly naive and foolish to think that you can lose 100+ pounds and remain unchanged inside. some changes will be good-- some will not. how the changes affect us is a sign of our over-all mental health. regardless, we are shaped by both genetics and environment; you better believe your environment, your social interaction, change with weighloss. we DO become different people. hopefully, we become the best versions of ourselves possible.