The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[DogMa]

You're still on the complete plan, right? I wouldn't go too crazy, because making yourself sick isn't going to be much of a break. But maybe you could have a couple of lean and green meals?

[Elizabeth]

Hi Alex, good for you for getting away. I think you should take your MF meals and eat L&G meals as needed/wanted so you don't feel deprived.
..my 2 cents
whatever you decide...have a great time

[Arklahoma]

From someone who has struggled desperately to get back on plan, I would suggest not going off. My first four months, I didn't cheat once. Then in late June, I went off plan b/c my workplace threw a party for me and it was a month of off and on again start and stops. I have gained and lost the same 10 lbs about four times and I was just sick of it. I've been back on plan 100% for about a week and a half and I feel soooo much better. If you can handle the L/G eating without going overboard (like I did) then I would certainly say go for that, but not off plan altogether.

Just my

[alpha femme]

yeah. it's looking like i'll be taking a bunch of shakes and try for a lng a couple of times. i think i probably will drink, though. and those are the worst empty calories....

the ex and i used to hit vegas 5-6 times a year. this trip is actually one we had planned together. i figure, screw it, i don't need her to have a good time. i have some friends that moved out there a couple years ago, and they have been pushing me to come visit, so i figure that will make it easier. at first, i was going to go with a friend, but the more i think about it, the more i think i just want some alone time.

i can't even really remember the last time i was truly alone. i guess it should be scary, but it really isn't. i do officially own MyMentalEx.com. it's just something to play with for a while.

i guess, while in vegas, i will hit the outlets and try to get some clothes to shrink with. ah, well, i kind of like traveling on my own.

[DogMa]

baker or barstow? i love the barstow outlets. (and are you driving? stop at bun boy for me!!! or at least wave when you pass it.)

[alpha femme]

barstow (gap only) and the the ones at stateline (my favorites) and the upscale ones in vegas. i'll be driving. the person i thought about going with works for an airline and wanted to fly, but for the same amount of time (with all the security hassels) you can drive-- and then you have wheels.

i really just wish i knew where i'd be in a year... not just weight wise, but in every aspect. i just need to know if this is worth it. every time i feel happy and secure with my life, the bubble bursts.

oddly enough, many of my friends think i live a charmed life.

[DogMa]

Aw, Alex, no one knows for sure where they'll be in a year.

And yeah, if you drive, you can bring liquids with you. What a concept. I'm dreading my flight to Denver now. I don't think I can go so long without bottled water. And I'll have to bring soy crisps or something since I can't bring an RTD on the plane or even to the gate.

I went to the Vegas ones once, years ago. Most often we went to Lake Elsinore when I was in OC. And in San Diego, I was only 15 minutes or so from Viejas. Out here, the closest ones are about an hour away.

[Sojourner]

Hiya Alex! You said:

i really just wish i knew where i'd be in a year... not just weight wise, but in every aspect. i just need to know if this is worth it. every time i feel happy and secure with my life, the bubble bursts.

There is this great book that I read eons ago. It's by this guy named Hugh Prather, I think he's a motivational speaker or some such thing. Anyway the book is entitled: Notes to Myself - my struggle to become a person. It's kind of an essay/poem book, and very uplifting -- as sappy as that sounds. Here's a piece from the book that has actually gotten me through some wicked times:

"Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes and I am left the same as I began. The more things change the more I am the same. It appears that my life is a constant irony of maturity and regression, but my sense of progress is based on the illusion that things out there are going to remain the same and that, at last, I have gained a little more control. But there will never be means to ends, only means. And I am means. I am what I started with, and when it is all over I will be all that is left of me."

Also (and I posted this to someone earlier today) there's this great quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson that says: "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

So, stop wondering if it's worth it, because the answer is yes. YOU are worth it, no matter what the peripheral stuff is - good, bad, or downright crazy. And the only one you can really, truly rely on is yourself. So it's all up to you babe. Do it.

[alpha femme]

so, i got some feedback from bbq girl.
she said she thinks i'm pretty and that all of her friends and relatives were really impressed with me. i didn't realize the poor girl was blind when i asked her out.
it has come to my attention that i am, in actuality, pretty loath to get off my @ss and start dating again. i need to. i guess i want to. i'm just really that lazy! who knew? a lazy fat girl. maybe, in some way, i'm afraid that dating will sabotage my weight loss; we all know how comfort works....
maybe i'm just neurotic.
i keep going back to the thought that i'm just really that lazy.

i still feel like i'm 400lbs. that is not helping. i have some monumental issues to deal with the the next 3 weeks to tie up the loose ends of my personal drama, and that is creating stress.

maybe it's just not time. but it really feels like it is.
maybe my ex's insanity rubbed off.


ah, well. i guess the thing to do, is just see how i feel day to day.

i'm seriously thinking about joining the long beach grunions. the only problem is that their practice facility is pretty far away. on the other hand, it would be great exercise, a way to learn better technique, and very social.

maybe i'll just take a nap.
yeah, that's it...
a nap....

[Prancer]

Hey alex how are things going with the website?

[alpha femme]

ah! the website.
well, i settled on MyMentalEx.com. since i can link other domain names to the site, i'm not worried about the choice. now, i'm just plodding along and trying to figure out how to get everything i want up there. i chose bluehost for my host (generally good reviews, very inexpensive). if anyone has any suggestions or input, i'm still open.
i'm thinking about making life easier and picking up a copy of dreamweaver, but the price tag stinks. then again, i will be using it regularly, so it may be the cheapest way in the long run.
that's about it for now.
i figure it's one of those things that will keep me out of trouble-- for a few minutes anyway.

[Prancer]

have you looked on ebay for dreamweaver? I have had very good luck in getting software free from people. I will send an email out to my brother and BIL and see if either can get their hands on a copy. Both have interesting resources. Unless you are opposed to going the less legal route.

[alpha femme]

no, that would be really nice of you.
i'll check ebay, too-- good suggestion.

[DogMa]

i didn't realize the poor girl was blind when i asked her out.

OK, I said I was going to come after you for all this self-deprecating stuff. Cut it out!!!! You're pretty, and it's time you accepted that!

[alpha femme]

i'm gonna say something....

i don't see how it's possible that people go down 10 sizes in 30lbs. i just don't. i do get that the smaller the pant size, the less difference there is from one size to the next. but still...

anyway, i tried on a couple pairs of jeans i bought for future use (size 20) and i can get them on. they won't fit right for a while, but they botton and zip, if that makes sense. i only tried them on because i still haven't started losing again, and i know my big ol' blubber butt is headed for another plateau.

so, i started out a 24, wear a 22, and can put on size 20 jeans.

hopefully, those numbers will dribble down pretty soon (and never come back up). that still leaves the mystery of sizes for me to scratch my head at, but i'll try to not give it too much thought.