The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Heidi]

It all started Mother's Day weekend...Up until this past week I have been sooooo good-doing full fast for most of the time (since April 5), and occasionally eating a healthy dinner. I have lost 22 lbs. and 16 inches! Yes, I am happy and proud. However this past week has been a disaster! Mother's Day is supposed to be a day of celebration and appreciation, but for me it is one of the saddest days of the year. More than anything I want to be a mom, but I am unable to due to health reasons and a hormonal disorder. Have considered adoption, but doesn't work for my husband and I due to various personal, health and financial reasons. It's always been a difficult day, wishing I could hear the words just one time, "Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!" Every year I try to stay focused on the wonderful things I do have : An amazing husband, a very loving and supportive family, great friends, a good job that I love, a beautiful home, faith in God, most importantly a Mom that is absolutely the best woman I have in my life. I also try to stay busy celebrating with my own mom and family by going to luncheons, church, family celebrations. Well, it happened..I had a very sad weekend despite the joy that I was surrounded by. I secretly cried, felt sorry for myself, then began to eat. It wasn't just one piece of pizza, but two. It was just a hamburger, but the onion rings too. My whole week has been spent relying on food for comfort. Right now I am kicking myself, hoping that I am not sabbotaging myself, and using my sadness as an excuse. Never once when I ate those things was I hungry, but they did taste DELICIOUS!! However, right at this time as I am writing this with tears and disgust, I realize that the food didn't comfort me and I am still a mother without a child. I can't believe I am telling you all this and I don't even really know you. I just seems like most of you have some of the same problems with food-using it for comfort when life seems so hard. I go back to the doctor on Monday and he told me on my last visit that if me blood sugar was still at PERFECT, he is going to start taking me off of some of my diabetic meds. For that, I am proud and grateful. OK, so I having a huge pity party for myself and I WILL pull myself out of it. Although I haven't responded lately, I just want you all to know that I appreciate this online support so much, and I promise to get better at writing back to all of you that continually give so much to all of us. Have a great weekend and thanks for listening to my blubbering and babbling. See you tomorrow at roll call. Heidi

[fatBgone]

Dear Heidi,

I'm soooo sorry about your week - and more importantly about not being able to have children. I just had goose bumps and a big lump in my throat while I was reading your post. I know that I take motherhood for granted sometimes, but I really love my kids and don't know what or who I'd be without them.

I thought of something though while I was reading and wanted to share it with you. My daughter (she's 15) babysits alot and one of the families that she babysits for also could not have children of their own and could not afford the whole expensive adoption procedures....so they became foster parents - with the hope of possibly being able to adopt. It is ALOT cheaper than regular adoption and the first child that they got was a little boy - about 18 months old and within a year they were able to adopt him and then less than a year later, they were able to adopt his little baby sister. So, now they have 2 children and they are sooo happy and this mom has told me time & time again, that they would have NEVER been able to afford adopting a child if it wasn't for this way.

If you want me to, I can talk to this lady more seriously about how they got started on their journey to parenthood and share with you any help or ideas if you're interested.

I love kids soo much that I want to be a foster parent when my children are grown and gone because I just can't imagine my home without kids in it. I know it will be heartbreaking at times to have to give children back sometimes, but I will know that I was helping out in their time of need.

And Heidi, try not to beat yourself up for slipping off the plan. Just pick yourself up and get right back on and you'll be fine. Medifast is a very forgiving program - in the sense that it's so easy to get back on and you'll start losing again right away. I've slipped off a couple of times (I started 3/17 - just a little before you) and when I do, I just think about the success of how much I have lost and re-motivate myself to stay on track. You can do it!!!

Well, take care & I hope you're feeling better soon....I'll keep you in my prayers!

[doglover]

Hey Heidi. For the first time reading someone else's post I cried. I have cried a lot for myself but you really touched me w/ your sadness. I have nothing I can say other than we are glad we are here for you and I will pray for strength of heart for you. My biggest medihug to you
Donna

[DonicaB]

Dear Heidi~~I am sitting here with tears in my eyes and as Lisa said, a huge lump in my throat. For the last 10 years Mother's Day has been a bad day for me also. My mother died 10 years ago at the age of 53. I miss her dearly. Every year at church they have a Mother/Daughter banquet, well........I don't have a mother.......and I don't have a daughter(I have 2 boys).... so I don't attend. Then I read your post I think......stop feeling sorry for yourself Dona (that's my name).......look at what Heidi is going through. I am often reminded that many people have struggles and sorrows and heartaches that reach into the deepest parts of their souls.

Lisa has given you excellent information on possible ways to adopt. In Missouri we have the Division of Family Services. I'm not sure what it is called in Washington, but I am sure there has to be something similar. She is also right that you would probably have to be a foster parent first, but not necessarily. In Missouri, the State pays for most of the cost to adopt. The cost is actually very minimal. You would have to go through some training and have a home study done.

My husband's sister is also unable to have children. She and her husband have adopted 2 boys from Korea. There is also a large movement in our area right now of Russian children needing to be adopted. I could try to find out more information on both of those types of adoptions if you are interested.

As far as your eating goes........I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same thing. On a positive note, you are at least aware that you are eating for emotional reasons........and I think that recognition will be enough to get you back on track. It is so hard to take control back when you feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest.

I will be praying for you and your husband.......that you will be able to find a way to become parents.

I'm soooo glad you felt like you could share that with us. It is some times strange at how close I feel to people I have never met.

God Bless You Heidi!

DonicaB

[Walks262]

Heidi,

I am so sorry for the disappointment and emptiness you feel; I hope that in some way you will find some answers and a way forward.

You should be proud that you have recognized that food isn't your answer. Many of us can relate: I have used food for all kinds of reasons through the years. Now consider it a victory that you are not going to let this last week be your downfall. You have MF and can get right back to it.

Take care.

[dlr2424]

Heidi...............Thank God you have all the other wonderful things in your life.............that does help somewhat............but I empathize with you....... .........even though intellectually we are aware of our many blessings and are grateful for them...............it still is an incredible painful challenge to endure.................your not having a pity party............and thank you for coming here to share your pain..................my first thought after reading your post was..................see what happens after your MF journey............once you reach goal......sometimes our whole system changes and possibly your health and hormonal disorder will be effected in a positive way...............I will keep you both close in prayer and do believe that MIRACLES do happen!!!!.........
Donna...dlr2424

[bomoni727]

Heidi,
I'm sorry that you hit a slight bump, but you'll bounce back better than ever. You are a source of encouragement for others and this too shall pass. You will reach goal before you know it and we will all rejoice with you. I will be thinking of you and keep you in my prayers. Hang tough girl, you'll be fine.

[fatBgone]

Heidi,
Donna mentioned in her post about about MF fixing some other health and/or hormonal issues...and it made me remember this lady that did medifast 16 years ago and while she was doing it, she became pregnant after being told that she wouldn't ever be able to have kids. Something about losing weight fast makes the estrogen levels wacky and it caused her to get pregnant....I don't know the details of your medical problems, but wouldn't it be great if MF could be your solution....that's what I'll pray for - for you & your hubby!!

[Heidi]

Thank you all so much for your love, support, and your prayers. I felt a little embarassed after I hit the submit button yesterday that I revealed so much personal information about myself. However, this morning when I read the replies I was glad I did. Each one of you said things that made me feel so much better, and you give me strength to pull myself out of this hole I am in right now. Thank you for your continued encouragements and your prayers-it is very powerful. I too, keep this group in my prayers everyday that we can each find courage to maintain this new way of living and beat the demons inside us that make us turn to food for comfort. Thanks again to the strangers that are now friends! You all are an inspiration to me!! With love, Heidi

[dlr2424]

Each one of you said things that made me feel so much better, and you give me strength to pull myself out of this hole I am in right now.

Heidi........ .........this whole forum is stretching their arms down into that hole and all set to help you pull yourself out........ .......that's what this journey of life is all about....... ........and God is smiling down on us..... ........how pleased He must be that we can truely show our love ...compassion...& support to total strangers...... ......who now are dear friends ...... .......thank you for sharing your challenges.........by doing so it helps others who may be dealing with the same heartaches but don't have the courage to post...........you are special and whatever is in God's will for you He will provide you the strength to endure it............ .........
Donna...dlr2424