The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[jene115]

and I'll call you out if I catch you whining!

Thanks Kat! I also have another goal and that's to get this weight off and tell my boss to shove it. I am so hoping that losing the fat will open my eyes to what I want to do with my life. I've had it with jerk attorneys! lol (sorry, bad day at work)

I have some old boyfriends here in Houston and a few guys I dated a few times. The ones I really want to see are the ones who used to tell me "you have such a pretty face if you would just lose weight. . ." I hated that! I always said I was going to take out a full page ad in the paper wearing a bikini and let them eat their hearts out, but at 47 years young, I got over that, lol

No pity parties for awhile, I promise.

[mindovermatter]

[ "you have such a pretty face if you would just lose weight. . ." ]


My mother use to say this to me all the time and it just made me cringe. Now there is some classic passive agression if I ever saw it. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and do not blame them for my issues, but why can't she see how much a statement like that hurts.

Beth

[explorthis]

you have such a pretty face if you would just lose weight

Many years ago, a co-worker, would constantly, in a nonchalant way, make comments about my weight. I am pretty vocal, as you can tell, but burdened with obesity, I was never quick to toss a negative comment or retort someone’s way. This man just ground on me, like the proverbial nails down the chalkboard. So happened he was a “comb-over”. He had ground on me for the last time. I actually spouted up in a meeting, where food was served, after he commented “Well Joe, I may be overweight, but at least I can lose the weight, you will never be able to grow the hair back, and that comb-over style died out about 20 years ago” WHOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAA.. The entire room busted out in laughter. This man was easily 20 years my senior. Needless to say, he never again commented about my weight.

Point is, anyone that has derogatory things to say about someone’s weight, or anything else negative for that matter, it just not worth a second thought.

We are what we are, we CAN change this, and we are. Don’t give into stupidity, don’t give these self-centered people, related to you or not, a second look. It’s just not worth it. Chances are, they are harboring many problems themselves.

To this day, I still remember my comment to this man, and wish I had never said it, cause it just was not worth it in the long run.

Don't throw stones, if you live in a glass house!

-Mike

[TamiL]

Great Posts you guys....Jen, Raven, Carrie...we all seem to think alike..the more I read the forum, the more I realize I am NOT ALONE!!


Im trying to figure out this ticker factory thing...lets see if it worked!!

Tami

[shineface]

This thread is amazing and my God we are so alike - I forget that when I decide to have a pity party...

the "pretty face" remark brought back some pretty vivid memories of friends, family and so many people that think they are trying to help -yeah

Jen, Raven, Carrie, Tami ---- my personal favorite goes back to the mid-70's when I finally, after losing 30 pounds and feeling really good about myself decided to "give it up" to a man I thought was caring and deserved me and I him - how's this sound -next morning on the way home - "you are such a foxy (it was the 70's) woman - when are you gonna knock off eatin' the potato salad?"

Needless to say I DID NOT see him again and have continued killing myself with the potato salad --- gee, that memory makes me feel a little more in touch with my tough body image ......

Every insight is part of the healing - thank you for sharing so much of yourselves ---

[jene115]

The other side of the coin is my stepmother who raised me (I called her my mom). Whenever I would go to visit after not seeing my parents for awhile (we lived in separate states), she would open the door when I got there and say "You are so pretty," no matter how fat I'd gotten. I cry whenever I think of this because she was my biggest cheerleader and I lost her in March 2002. I know our parents are supposed to love us unconditionally, but she didn't even give birth to me and she was the best mother God could have ever blessed me with.

My dream was always to lose my weight while she was still alive and go surprise her with all my weight off, so she could see me like I was in my teens and 20s. Now, I have to do this for me and I will have to learn to make that enough.

I received my food yesterday, unbeknownst to me until 6:30 this morning when something told me to look out on my patio. My UPS guys puts my packages there, but there's was no notification on my door, but it probably blew away because it was windy yesterday.

I've been "excited" about starting this and thinking how easy it would be, but in reality, I am scared. I came home from work tonight and sitting here, realize now that it's going to take a lot to get through the first three days, not just the "detox" symptoms but my head and my thought processes. I've been coming home from work and stopping at either McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, Taco Cabana, you name it. ANYTHING so I won't have to come home and cook. I'm so tired when I get home from work. I work 9-6 and it takes me an hour in traffic to get home. I absolutely hate getting home and only have 3 hours to do anything, but 45 minutes of that right now is tied up in doing compression boot therapy on my legs, so Monday through Friday evenings suck right now.

I guess you can tell my head isn't in a good place today. I came home very irritated yesterday and barely got through today. I have an issue with my boss, basically he is bi-polar and changing the rules constantly, I never know what kind of mood he is going to be in and sometimes he can be very condescending and disrespectful. I love the firm I'm with and I love the people. My only issue is I will not work with anyone who doesn't treat me with respect. I don't care if he is bi-polar or not. There's times I love working with him and times where I want to shoot him. I guess it's too much like how I grew up, as my father was also bi-polar and I had to walk on eggshells with him too. Gee, I think I just had an ephiphany! I made the decision yesterday to not make any decisions about work, my hair (cutting it), or anything else until I reach my goal. I think once I get this weight off, I will be able to make better decisions with a clearer head.

I don't know why I'm so emotional today, it's not "that time." It's not a full moon. Maybe it's emotions relating to getting ready to lose my best friend, junk food. I'm starting this on Saturday as I know I will do better having the first two days at home, but Monday will be the test. Not while I'm at work, of course, but that old familiar drive home, trying to decide what fast food restaurant I would drive through. Monday, of course, I will have to put the car on cruise control and just keep going toward home, no stops.

Did anyone else experience sadness before you started? Maybe this isn't the reason, but I can't figure out what else it could be. Right now, I just want to go to bed and cry, but I don't have anything to cry about that I know of.

[TamiL]

Jen
Your post brought tears to my eyes...I too had someone in my life like your stepmother...someone who thought no matter how much we weighed..we were beautiful..someone who saw us for the inside only..not the outer shell!! But they way you have to approach this is to think that you STILL Have a cheerleader...shes just not here in person right now..but shes looking down on you and she will be cheering you on every step of the way along this journey you are about to take.....
I think I had alot of apprehension about starting..only because I KNEW this was my last chance at something..I had TRIED everything else...
I too was sad....because FOOD was my best friend..and giving that up was scary...although I have not had the BEST track record while medifasting...Ive had a few bumps in the road....all I can tell you is a few simple things I have learned:
the first few days are the worst....do whatever you have to to get thru the first week or so...DRIVE home a different way..or find a motivating song to listen to on your drive home.....DONT STOP at any fast food places....just remember what your goal is....and where you want to be!
DONT CHEAT OR EVEN PUT YOURSELF in a TEMPTATION to cheat...cuz once you do..its SO HARD TO get back up again....and stay faithful to the program!! THE FOOD YOU WILL MISS will still be there when you are at your goal weight..and you can eat it again in MODERATION...Im not sure how many of us knew what moderation was before Medifast...thats why I have been overweight my whole life!!
I too, have a stressful job...I never know what i am in for at work...every day brings different emergencies/situations...but I realized that EATING over things only brought me FURTHER from my goal..and the food tasted good for about FIVE seconds..but the 5 minutes and 5 hours afterwards...I FELT THE GUILT and the shame...and those FIVE seconds WERE NOT WORTH IT!!
THe sakes are GREAT..the CHILI is awesome....it only takes a few minutes to prepare some of the other foods you can have....PLAN AHEAD...take your shakes to work with you....much on celery and have plenty of sugar free Jello on hand....do WHAT IT TAKES to stay on the program...after the first few days...IT GETS EASIER..and then before you know it, your clothes begin to feel looser...and your feeling more energy than you have in YEARS!!
DO THIS FOR YOURSELF.....food is FUEL not comfort....after all these years..where has the "COMFORT" gotten us but MISERY and out of control!! one of the ONLY things we CAN CONTROL is what we put in our mouths....and once we have that in CONTROL...we can DO ANYTHING!!
I PROMISE YOU that this will get easier!! IM excited for you to start....come here often to this forum....this is what has gotten me thru so much...if you dont feel like posting..then just read.....
YOU CAN DO IT!! we are all your cheerleaders!!
Tami

[Sylvia]

What a great thread! I can't put my thoughts into words as well as you have but do appreciate you having done so.

I just wanted to comment on something Jen said about setting goals. I am a very goal oriented person too. When I started the program last May with about 75 pounds to lose, I thought it would take me about 4-4 1/2 months. Based on what some tohers had experienced, I figured I would lose 25 the first month and 15 every month thereafter. Well, it didn't quite work out that way. I lost 20 pounds my first month and a steady 10 every month after that. So 4 months turned into 6.

After a few weeks of recalculating how long this would take and growing depressed, I decided that I should change my goal. Instead of having a goal of 75 pounds, I changed my goal so that it was to stay on the program for 6 months. That was something I had complete control over. I ended up staying on a bit longer and one day declared myself at goal at 154 pounds (4 lbs above the goal I was initially shooting for).

I have maintained within a couple of pounds of my goal weight for about 3 months now and have decided that I want to lose another 10-15 pounds. I will be restarting the program on Valentine's Day for 3 weeks or so.

So, I'm straying from te point I was trying to make. Of course you need to have a weight loss goal and you have to chart your progress. Since it is well established that this program works if you stick to it, I believe that should be your goal. The weight will come off as the weight comes off - faster than with just about any other plan you might do. You have little control over how fast it happens but you have complete control about whether you stick to the program. So commit for some period of time and stick to it. It may come off slower than you'd like some times, but it will come off.

Good luck!

Sylvia

[churchie]

Hello Jen,

I read your post and saw similarities in my life to yours.....eating disorder clinic, etc I still do 12 steps and saw the definition to insanity and recognized it.

I hate labels also, however, I know I am much more than a food addict, I am a business owner, mother, wife, friend, and many other things......labels are for jars. I am okay today being a food addict otherwise my addiction to food would take over. As long as I know I am much more than that, all is well.

I wish you much luck on this new journey and appreciate you sharing all you did.

I had a miserable first marriage also, spent time alone after that (a healthier choice), lost lots of weight and kept it off for 10 years until the birth of my son and numerous health issues after the second pregnancy.

Anyhow, Medifast works and as long as I know that maintenance is the key and I plan for these things, it will work out. I can only do this plan one day at a time. I am now in my 3rd month and have found it more challenging with the various activities yet it is very rewarding to feel good again about myself and to see the weight come off too.

Nothing else worked anymore my body just shut down. My cardiologist is who recommended this to me. I hope your TRi's go down.........mine went up and I had a heart attack while pregnant in 2001. Obesity is no joke and all those yo yo weights........even the 10 years of sanity did not stop that.....it is very scary. Many people die everyday due to being overweight or underweight. Glad there is a solution. I could focus on the negative or look at the positive that I have a good chance of making it now.

Best of luck and again, I am very glad you posted, I heard a lot of me in your post.

Gail

ps on a really happy note, I went out dancing with my husband Saturday and went to an awesome event too. I bought my packets and supplies and chicken and salad I do the 5 in 1 and he and I went to the park during the big meal event. It was romantic, fun and it felt good to get through it without feeling too out of place. What I have to come to finally realize is, that lots of people do DIETS so I do not need to feel strange doing my packets wherever we are. I just do not want a bunch of questions or comments right now. I am a private person when it comes to stuff. I told a person before I started Medifast that I was considering going on it, and I received a lot of negative feedback. Oh, people's gall bladders fail, you know that stuff does not work, etc etc

Well, now I am 40 pounds plus lighter and dancing and feel better than I have in 4 years! Whatever......LOL
My doctor who is "world" known recommended it, cannot be too unhealthy!

[churchie]

Carrie,

I read your post where you shared about your emotional eating and how you have done medifast the last 11 months and how much you are digging into yourself and the hows and whys.

I just want you to know that I am impressed with how and what you are doing. I know for me too that longevity will only last if I deal with the REAL issues of food and my sick relationship to it, and now back to having a healthy relationship again with it.

THank you so much for your post. I was reading both yours and Jen's and you two have a lot of great stuff to share.

Hope your flu is gone soon.......
gail