The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Sylvia]

Hey guys,

I'm soliciting opinions...

As many of you know, I started the program last May and lost a tad over 70 pounds in a bit more than 6 months. My original goal was 150 but I declared myself at goal when I got down to 154. I lost a few more pounds during transition and then stabilized at about 153-154.

I felt pretty good at that weight but still a bit flabby. I started exercising religiously - daily cardio and weights 3x per week (and recently 2 of the 3 weight days are with a personal trainer). I have held my weight pretty steady - lately more around 156-157 but I honestly think the extra couple of pounds are from muscle since my clothes feel the same.

I have started seeing more definition and think my workouts are showing some results, but I'm not happy with how I look yet. Don't get me wrong - I'm thrilled with how far I've come and the night and day difference between last 5/3 when I started and now. I just don't think I'm "done" yet.

I said when I declared myself at goal that I would exercise and maintain for a few months and then see where I was. I have decided I want to lose more weight, so I will be restarting the program Monday. What I'm struggling with is how much I should lose.

My doctor says I should weight between 150 and 160 for my height and body structure (I'm 5'8"). The last time I've been this thin was in college - I was fairly thin from High School until my Sr year in college. During those years, I weighed between 135 and 145. I was obviously MUCH younger then. I'm trying to figure out the right weight for me but want to make sure I land at a weight that I can reasonably maintain.

Anybody have any thoughts on this? I'm thinking I'll shoot for 145 and see if I'm happy with that weight. While I'd love to see the 130's, not sure they're doable for me.

Kind of looking forward to restarting. I'm also really happy that the protocol changes and that I will no longer have to have 3 shakes per day. Got to tell you that I was pretty tired of the shakes!

I'll keep you all posted on my progress and would be interested in your thoughts.

Thanks,

Sylvia

[explorthis]

Opinion? Dunno, but I am in the same boat. I was originally 337, and got to 223. Been on maintenance for about 14 months. Statistics say I should be in the 180-190 range?!?! Dr Phil (sorry Nelly) says 220-230 is perfect. I have definite tone, but 365+ days I still am only about 80% happy with my bottom line. I have gained 10-15 pounds, depending on the week, so actually I am about 235 (this morning) Old habits are hard to break. I am cautiously repenting to the tune again of about 225, but where do we draw the line? Nancy told me once, if I wanted, to lose another 10 and see where I am and where I feel, but again, where do we draw the line? If I stayed at where I am now, I would be content, but since I never got lower than 223, would I have been happier is I was 180? Toned? Yes, Firm? No. Years of abuse have caused this old body to (I am sure) never see the teen look, not that I care. Again - complacency? Contentment?

<shrug>

Everyone I come in contact with even now still says I look great. Even Tim (when we were in Vegas gave me a “Dude – your pretty thin” comment. He probably does not remember, but coming from him (he is about 140# my guess dripping wet) it was a real compliment.

I feel good, but……. ??

-Mike

[Sylvia]

I feel exactly like you do. What I want is probably unattainable. This past weekend, the family went swimming. Bothing suits are always a killer, aren't they? So I have my cute Ralph Lauren halter tankini number. But I hate my thighs - always have, probably always will. So I buy a second set of bottoms - the cute little skirt kind because I think it masks my problem area. The thing is so short it probably doesn't do a thing, but I feel better. So I'm walking out to the pool and I catch a glance in the full length mirror. My attention is of course drawn to my thighs and I see jiggling and cellulite. I am depressed.

Honestly, when I weighed 135 I had big thighs. I have always hated them. I asked my trainer what to do about them and she said what I was doing was all of the right things but thighs are largely about genetics.

So part of me doesn't know why, at almost 40, I think my thoghs are going to look any better than they did when I was thin at 20. The other part of me thinks I need to at least give it a try. So I will lose a few more pounds and pray that they come from the places I want them to come from! At some point I will just need to get over it and learn to be satisfied with my all in all not too bad looking self.

[raederle]

Hi Sylvia,

Your question's a really interesting one because there seems to be a great difference of opinion out there on what makes the "perfect" weight for your body height. If you feel a bit too flabby, I completely support you for getting rid of a few more pounds, and commend you for it! I, too, found that working out strenuously changed my shape a little, but kept me at the same weight for months -- frustrating! MF seems to be the only thing that is taking the final flabbage off...

As for finding a number, I did some searches online for "ideal weight" calculators. They differ from each other somewhat, but seem to say that 140 is a good number for a 5'8" woman of medium frame, while 150 is good for large frame. (These calculators didn't take age or anything else into account, though.) I guess I would say that you'd be safe splitting the difference and picking 145 as a starting goal, since you know 150 is doable but still made you feel a bit flabby. You can always reevaluate when you get there-- or you might decide that 148 or 150 is great now that you've got a good "undercarriage" of muscle!

Of course, the bottom line is that you should just love the way you look and feel, but I know you know that, and I know that doesn't help much when you have to figure out how long to stay on plan!

Anywho, just my 2 cents. Maybe some taller chicks out there can tell ya how they've felt at different weights, and how they chose their goals?

[scrabbler7]

Hi Sylvia Hi Mike

- good comments ... good questions. But I guess no real good answer for this one, right? My personal thought for me .... I have to get to a weight that I will feel comfortable at that I KNOW I will be able to maintain. I want to be able to eat like a normal person - carefully - but not stringent with every morsel I put in my mouth. Where I can say, you know tonite, I think I am going to have dessert or that glass of wine, and know that I can do that without risk of strict dieting for 7 days to make up for it. My "medical" ideal weight is between 100 and 110 - YEAH RIGHT! I don't think I was that since I hit puberty. I know that it's not ever going to be somewhere that I could live at - so I set my goal according to what I know I can get to - where I will feel comfy in my body and in my mind.

And another thing - what if you got to where the "medical" weights say you should be and maintained it? Then it would be - well geez, look at these wrinkles or I don't like my nose - or maybe my teeth need straightening!!! No matter what, I don't think we will be TRULY content with ourselves at any weight - because we are our worst critics. Let's listen to all those folks that are telling you that ya look great - cause "dude" - I'm sure you do. Give that inner voice a kick in the butt and go flex those muscles in the mirror baby!

So - ya gotta do what you feel is right inside - go take off those next 10. Then re-evaluate -- are you still criticizing yourself? Or did the 10 pounds work?

Keep us informed -- all of us who have a ways to go would love to hear how you guys handle this subject!

[raederle]

Just wanted to add (it took me so long to write my earlier post that you and Mike had another exchange in the meantime!)... I have always been bigger on the bottom than on the top (lovely, ain't it???), so I've found that the "ideal weights" don't always give me a good idea of what to lose to get to how I wanna look... So I completely sympathize. I've reached a point where I figure, hey, if I make it to 125, my thighs will still be stuck with some cellulite, but there isn't anything I can do about that because it's genetic. Even if I weighed 100 pounds, my thigh skin would still be dimply... Aaack! But at 100, I'd have *also* lost all my boobs, would have toothpick arms, and would probably just look like a dead person. So maybe 145 would look great on your bod, even if your thighs aren't what you'd hope for...? Funny, I wonder if people who were once really heavy who are now close to thin are harder on themselves than people who never were fat, and never accomplished what you did to get thin?

[cplantho]

You might want to consider asking your doctor for a referral to an exercise physiologist. I was assessed by one before starting MF and was shocked by the results. She told me that as long as your body fat percentage is around 18-23%, you're fine. By using body fat % instead of straight pounds, my goal weight can be up to 50lbs higher. It sounds as if you work out alot, so you may not need to lose as much as you think. I know from personal experience that no amount of exercise will get me below 15-18% fat. Just a thought.

[LadyinVA]

I think they make sarongs for people like us

I too have always had big thighs, even when at my thinnest. Of course 20 years ago, they were big but pretty muscular and firm. Now I dont care how much muscle is under there, gravity and age has taken its toll and I know I will ALWAYS hate my thighs, no matter how thin I get. So I just wear the sarongs at all times in a bathing suit (except when actually in the water of course!) And I think that that looks better than the suits with the skirts (they still don't hide my thighs...and my kids tell me they are "old lady" suits).

[explorthis]

Ame: I want to be able to eat like a normal person - carefully - but not stringent with every morsel I put in my mouth.

Well Ame, from my view, remember, reading my posts, I am still relatively new to this “thinner life” It’s been like I said, a little over a year of regular-guy eating, while trying to remain thin(ner), all the while still FORCING myself to learn how to eat properly. Old habits die very, very hard! I have NEVER known a life of thin (except for a very short stint on Optifast when I was 22) until now. Life for me, as I see it, will be an endless diet. Nary an hour goes by, even today (Sylvia – back me up on this) where something is not brought to my attention, weather a mirror, a food issue, or clothing, that does not relate to my weight. It is ALWAYS on my mind. I am sure this will be a front runner in my eyes till the day I die, just sure of it. My point is, I doubt anyone that has a substantial amount of weight to lose, and actually achieves this, will ever be able to put the thoughts in the back seat. These thoughts and actions will be with you ALL the time. They are for me. I cannot put a bite of food in my mouth even today, without second guessing weather it is the right thing to do or not. Weather it is salad, or too much dressing, or the thought of a small piece of candy. What will it do to me – every single bite.

Is this acceptable? Absolutely worth the trade. The alternative is going back to being fat? N-E-V-E-R. If this is life, then it’s ok by me.

Ame: Let's listen to all those folks that are telling you that ya look great - cause "dude" - I'm sure you do

I know I look great. I love the way I look, but some deep seeded wart on my brain, tells me I still could do something different, something more. I dress up, slacks, tucked in shirt, hair done up, walk by a mirror, DAM* I look good. But do I?

Rae: Funny, I wonder if people who were once really heavy who are now close to thin are harder on themselves than people who never were fat

ABSOLUTELY YES, without a doubt. I watch a few friends, and my tall teenage daughter, all leg, bone-thin. They care (from my view) very little about what they eat. I am speaking about those that possess that 100mph metabolism, not the person that can gain a little, if they are not consuming a salad at every meal. I am positive we (former fat ones) are and always will be harder on ourselves than someone that is already thin. Again, alternative? I like thin.

Christy: She told me that as long as your body fat percentage is around 18-23%

Might be true, but for me, I just plain don’t want to know. This would just add another splinter in my finger that I would dig at until it’s out. I know my weight, I know what sizes I fit in, I see others that appear to be the same size/height as me, and I use this as comparison. I flat refuse to ever know what my BMI or % is. If it were handed to me on a silver platter, I would wad it up and toss it in the trash, because it would probably scare me. I am too analytical, and probably just don’t want the truth.

Thoughts……

-Mike

[scrabbler7]

Well Mike - I think I undestand what it is you are saying ... but I guess my mind just doesn't want it to be true. I'm doing this MF thing - it's working (albiet very slowly) - but dang it is HARD. Very Hard. EXTREMELY Hard.

And now you tell me - it is ALWAYS going to be hard.

How 'bout I make you a deal --- I make it to goal and then we can have a heart to heart on how I feel and compare it to your last posting. We can then see the difference in mindset between a loser and a maintainer (if there is one). It'll be a good experiment for the forum - one that we can refer all losers and maintainers to when they feel the same.

Okay?

[elle4nelly]

Hi Sylvia!

Pm me and I'll give you a link to a site where you can plug in your neck measurement, waist, hips and thighs and it will calculate all sort of things including the healthy weight range you should be in. I'm 5 5" and I should be between 141lbs and 150bs according to my age and body frame. Yet I set a goal of 135lbs. My body has changed over the years and I attribute that to exercising a lot!!!!!!! Even as a FAT person. When I was in my 20's. I was roughly around 123 lbs and it got me in size 4. When I blimpled up for the 1st time to 220 lbs, I attempted to lose it with vigorous exercises for months on end and shed only a few lbs. Then I went to this diet doctor who gave me crazy pills and put me on a stringent food diet. I ended up losing 70 lbs in 5 months. When I reached 141 lbs I was a size 4-6 depending on the cut!?!??!?!?!? I ended up at 135lbs and a perfect size 4. Yet in my 20's I was 123lbs for the same size. Years of carrying a heavy load( my heavy self) and exercising have increase my lean body mass. making me heavier for the same size than I was in my twenties when I never exercised.
Anyway...go with how you feel! If you feel like another 5 or 7lbs will make you feel better do. But don't overdo!!

Nelly

[Nancy]

Sylvia, Mikey, etc. ~

Am I satisfied?

No.

Would I like to lose some more?

Yes.

Will I ever be satisfied?

I dunno.

Like you, Syl, my doc told me 150-155 would be a 'good' weight for my age (ARGH! I don't wanna hear that!) and frame.

Do I love my thighs - heck no! Never have. Probably never will. Usually wear a sarong...

I don't think I look like Jello thighs to everyone but to me, they shake. I'd like to use my Hoover and do self-lipo...

I think before I eat. I do have to watch what I eat. I am just a forkful away from flabdom - Medifast makes it possible for me to eat the things I enjoy - just not unlimited amounts of it.

I am exercising more than I ever have now, to increase my fitness level and it has increased my appetite (!) and my weight somewhat. Muscle does weigh more than flab. It takes up less space, 'though.

After two years of maintenance, I struggle with my self-image. I still see myself as fat. I look at other people and wonder if I look 'as good' as they do.

Just the other day, I was dressed to go to a Take Shape For Life regional meeting - Terry was scheduled to speak.

I dashed into the family room and asked Unca, "Does this make me look fat?"

His reply, "You look womanly."

What kind of a reply is THAT?
WHAT does that mean?

Is it GOOD to look 'womanly?'

Does that mean I look FAT? OLD?

Can I relate to your dilemma, Sylvia?




You have maintained your weight for several months now. You have exercised and I can understand why a short stint on the weight loss program will help you to make a better decision.

Will any of us ever be totally satisfied? Yes, I think we will - give us time, let us talk about it, let us explore this topic more - it is good.

I have been fat longer than I have been at a 'normal' or reasonable weight. This thinner life takes some adjustment.

All I know is this: I have been fat and I have been thin. I love thin.

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Not even cheesecake or truffles. Nothing.

[Marseilles]

Okay, I am absolutely tickled by Unca's response, bless his heart!

It reminds me of the TWIX commercial, where he stuffs his face rather than reply..lol!!!

Unca? Two words for ya... RAIL THIN.

There is just NO other answer suitable....capiche??

Nancy, I find it hard to believe that ANYTHING makes you look fat, silly goose!

Still chuckling....
-M

[explorthis]

How 'bout I make you a deal --- I make it to goal and then we can have a heart to heart on how I feel and compare it to your last posting.

Ame, I give you my promise, I am here now, and ANY time you want a heart to heart. If I can even remotely help someone maintain, or lose, then it is ALL worth it. I have seen both sides of the fence. Like Nancy says,

I have been fat and I have been thin. I love thin.

ME TOO! There is no comparison!

I am here anytime. I will GLADLY share everything I know, or feel, in my typical Mike or Guido way with anyone that wants it!!

-Mike

[Unca_Tim]

The six most dreaded words for a man to hear.

"Does this make me look fat?"

There's no way out of that one guys....