The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[ELK]

I post rarely, but I do read the boards daily. I have been on Medifast since the day before Memorial Day, and I have lost a considerable amount of weight. Friends, coworkers, friends, and neighbors have been very supportive and nice. I believe I accept compliments just fine, although they make me uncomfortable, I do not like to dwell on my weight loss, especially since I live with it every day.

Lately I have had more and more folks ask me how much weight I have lost. Although I have had great success in weight loss, I am not proud about how much weight I needed to loose, so I do not tell people how much I have lost. Unbelievably (at least to me), some people will not stop asking for the figure. I usually tell folks I have lost considerable weight, and try to leave it at that. By the way, I have told a couple of people how much I have lost, like my husband and a good friend.

Also people feel free to tell me to stop. Currently I have just graduated from the obese to overweight category based on my BMI. I usually tell people I plan to stop once I reach a healthy BMI (which my doctor supports) based on my height. Clearly I have more weight to loose, but I have had several people argue with me that I need to stop now. I will usually talk about BMI's and my doc's advice, but some folks won't leave it alone.

Any advice?

[TonyR]

I have the same problem as far as people telling me to stop losing weight. I think that you need to do what makes you feel good and if you feeling good is to keep going then go for it!! I had set a goal to be 200 pounds, but once I got there I thought you know what, that isn't where I want to be so I lowered it 10 pounds and I am almost there. Now I would like to drop another 10 after that, but I do realize that I look really puny and need to lift some weights and get some muscle on this flabby skinned body! Keep it up and when people tell you to stop, just tell them "I will stop when I am ready to stop and that isn't for a few more pounds" There is nothing they can say. They may keep hounding you, but all you need to do is just shrug it off and walk on by! Hope this helps!

[Mike]

I feel you. Dr. Anderson will back me up here (as will most people here) in stating that most Americans don't really know what a healthy weight is.
Personally, I've lost a lot of weight myself. I was at a BMI of 60 and nowq thanks to hard work and the right tools, I am currently at a BMI of 36 or so. I still have a ways to go, and I can't wait myself for people to question me as to when I will stop losing
In one way its a blessing, but in another I can definitely see how it can get on your nerves.
Its your life (tell others to back off... your Dr. knows what's going on).

And.. I agree with what Tony says....

[bikipatra]

Depending on who the people are, I might just giggle and say "You know you don't ask a lady about her weight! That's a hanging offense!" Then change the subject. But that's just my southern belle coming out. When the super rude lady I used to work with asked about my weight I would just laugh and then ask increduoulsy, "What?" as if she had just asked me if I were planning lunar exploration soon. That usually shut her up.

[Karli]

Hi, Elk . I hear you on this one. There are a lot of eyes on me sometimes and it seems the more weight I lose, the more eyes there are . I am still learning how to deal with it and as far as people telling me to stop goes, it seems it's something I am getting quite often lately. Right now I am on a kick "to do what I am going to do and not care what people think". Sometimes I need that kind of callous or I am paralyzed. I find I am most insecure about this stuff when I myself am not sure that I am doing the right thing. When I am sure though, I won't be argued with or talked out of anything .

As far as people asking how much weight I have lost, I usually never tell them unless I think they might be interested in the program themself and I want to "WOW" them with numbers . Gernerally I have either said what you have said ... "a considerable amount" or my latest is "too much to want to tell about" and that has shut them up pretty quickly.

When I get to my goal weight I am going to be proud to say what it is. And, when/if people tell me I am too thin, or whatever, I will tell them "I am _____ pounds, I don't think I am in any danger". That's partly a philosophical thing for me in that I think it's good for people to know what a tall, healthy and strong lady *actually* weighs. It's the educator in me .

Anyway, I don't know if that helped at all, but I just want to say I hear ya' and you will figure it out as you go along. Maybe you will stick around here ? .


Cheers and congrats,
Karli

[ELK]

Thanks for the support, hearing from you all helps. Last week a pest asked me what size I was wearing now and how many sizes had I lost, since I wouldn't tell him my weight. Actually, a blessed coworker did tell the persistant pest that a gentleman never asks about a lady's weight. We all laughed, and I gave my coworker a hug afterwards.

I am shy, and hate to be confrontational, but I swear these people are really provoking me. Although I still have a ways to go (at weight loss & blessed maintenance), I am relieved at my weight loss so far, but the constant mantra of stop, stop, stop doesn't make it any easier.

[Karli]

I am relieved at my weight loss so far, but the constant mantra of stop, stop, stop doesn't make it any easier.

Yeah, it can become a confusing message, for sure. But, you don't have to let it !

[hulagirlfromhawaii]

I am shy, and hate to be confrontational, but I swear these people are really provoking me. Although I still have a ways to go (at weight loss & blessed maintenance), I am relieved at my weight loss so far, but the constant mantra of stop, stop, stop doesn't make it any easier.

I am not a shy person and tell whoever asks me. I am not ashamed to voice my accomplishments, because that is what it is. I am very happy to share it with anyone who wants to know.

It all depends on you. If you are are shy and a little more private, by all means, don't let these people bother you! You don't have to tell them anything you don't want to. I think people are always interested in weightloss... especially when it's been a dramatic change. Take their interest in your weight loss as a compliment to you. Embracing it and acknowledging it can boost your self confidence and self esteem, and can be a motivator to keep you going! I know it does for me!

[Serendipity]

When asked how much weight I've lost, I just say "alot". Then if they push, I just say "I don't like to say". If it's someone I know pretty well, I will say "I've lost over half of myself". But to me it seems rude to ask such a question. I mean, I don't ask them how much they weigh or how much they need to lose......it's just rude, but people think they have a license to ask when someone has lost alot.

I got alot of "you don't need to lose any more weight", "you're gonna disappear", "don't get to skinny", etc., etc. I just turned a deaf ear. When it was my husband saying it, I told him about how I picked my goal weight and that it was considered a healthy bmi to be at that weight.

In the end, you just need to do what you need to do and ignore the comments.

[DogMa]

Miss Manners tends to advise people to put it back on the other person. "Why would you want to know something so personal?" should shut them up. As for whether you need to lose more, I'd just tell them my doctor knows and approves of my goal and leave it at that. I got a lot of that, too, when I got close (and still get it even though I'd still like to drop a couple more). I don't argue with them; I just do what I want.

[PJinCali]

Hey Robin that is a fabulous response! I am going to have to tuck that one away for future use. I just started a new job yesterday and it is GREAT to be around a bunch of strangers. It has given me more motivation because no one knows I lost weight.

Good luck Elke

PJ

[iwontplaythefoolnemore]

I had the same issue when I first started Medifast. I wish I had asked you guys for advice. In the beginning, I used to lie and shave about 10-20 lbs off what I'd actually lost.

Isn't that crazy?? Most people wouldn't actually give a number that is less than what they've actually lost. But it was more about me coming to terms that I weighed as much as I did. I finally got to the point where I could tell the truth when I got to the 100 lbs lost mark.

I also get comments about not losing too much weight. I've been told I'm "melting away" and advised "not to evaporate". What I find funny is that I've been around people where the situation is reversed (Thin person gains 10-15 lbs) and someone will make a comment about the weight gain behind the person's back.

[Lucy]

If shyness was not a factor I would say flat out I am not comfortable discussing sizes or numbers. Please repect that, it has been a considerable amount and thank you for noticing.

It funny I always feel strange telling someone like , Oh your hair looks great if they have had a cut, because once a coworker said " Oh you mean it looked like crap before" So I am careful, others are not...always remember, they are not asking how much you have gained or the ever popular when are you due can I touch your belly...had that happen, and the only baby in my belly was a Babe Ruth!

[ELK]

Thank you for all of your great replies. Ya'lls advice has re-centered me. Last May when I started, I wouldn't have believed it possible to be at the weight I am now, so I am very thankful for Medifast and this board.

Lately, I had been getting more & more irritable about the constant focus by others about how I am looking. I have used the advice from the above posts to get a handle on dealing with the more obnoxious attention.

Worse, I had lost my focus about reaching my goal, and began to think about quitting when I truly have about 35 more pounds to go to be solidly within a healthy BMI. I know this is right for me, and my doctor supports me, so I am back on track mentally, thanks to you all.

[bikipatra]

If shyness was not a factor I would say flat out I am not comfortable discussing sizes or numbers. Please repect that, it has been a considerable amount and thank you for noticing.

Are you saying that YOU'RE shy????