The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[BerkshireGrl]

It's funny that I thought I had this binge-eating thoroughly under control as of last Sunday morning, but then I fell off Medifast Sunday night... and stayed down until this morning.

What was the damage? From 192 last Sunday to 201.5 this morning! (Actually I got up to 203 at one point.) This was not "snacking", "nibbling", or other cute words. It was a full-out, self-destructive stupid thing to do. And why did I give in? Because I let my old thinking of "food = comfort" take over when I was depressed. DUH. Unfortunately it took not 1 day of binge eating, but 6, before I pulled my head out of the sand and let the gain sink in.

I am not asking for sympathy - trust me! I am here to purely confess my sins and get back on the program. I want to be 100% honest and fess up when I screwed up, and update my numbers to reflect my gain. I need to see it in writing.

So, those of you out there who may have this same problem, let me warn you, it always lurks. Better to not give in at all, then say "just one night." Because that one night could turn into a week, or even longer.

In 6 days, I turned back the clock about 1 month in weight loss. (I weighed 201.5 back on November 21st.) I feel gross - I am sure feeling the extra pounds. My jeans are tight, it's harder to climb stairs, my back hurts. And I'm not fooling myself, I look fatter.

That's it though. I had set myself up to hit my goal in April, and now it will be May most likely. It is SO NOT WORTH IT to throw your money away by giving into a binge. I had a full load of fresh MF waiting for me while I toiled away at getting fatter, and today, I am breaking it open, putting it away, and cleaning up the mess this week has left.

I let a lot of things go besides just what I ate. I need to clean my home, finish Christmas shopping, and decorate my tree. In all of this, I will be mindful of taking care of my surroundings and more importantly, myself.

I feel like I owe you all an apology. I talked the talk, thinking I had this thing beat, but this week taught me that walking the walk is a whole other challenge! I beat off that binge urge for 3 days, then caved. I'm coming to see that food addiction can be as strong as alcohol addiction (another issue that my recycling container can attest to for the past 6 days.) I'm sorry - I messed up. It is such a humbling experience to be wrung out and hung out to dry by this... but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

I am back on Medifast - for real.

I will weigh in tomorrow with you guys - good luck to you all, and have a great weekend.

[Nancy]

Oh, Berkshire ~

You are right, mess ups help to make us stronger.

Sometimes hang-overs can help people to not overindulge the next time and having a food-over can help us to realize that it doesn't feel too good when we overindulge and binge. Rude awakenings have value. Thank you for 'fessin' up and hopefully some of our readers will take your lesson to heart.

Those pounds will come off soon - remember it is a fluid balancing issue, too - during transition, some weight fluctuations upward can occur. I am NOT dismissing your weight gain, however, because you know that it came about by not choosing wisely...

I think it is good that you got scared - scared straight, eh? It keeps me honest when I meet my people in-person and when I record my weight everyday. Journaling is good for the soul and good for the weight!

You'll get to your goal by spring - just make the list of all the reasons WHY ya wanna de-flab, Berk. Read your goals every day. Say aloud positive affirming statements about yourself (I know how much to eat. Food is fuel. Food is not my friend. I eat on time. My health is important to me. I will wear shorts this summer. I am becoming a slender healthy woman. I make the right food choices. Blah, blah, blah)

Prepare your foods the night before - set out the day's Medigrub so you are ready in advance and don't cave to the rave of food - YOU are in control! Food is an inanimate object. It has NO power over YOU. You tell food where to go.

Eaten in its proper amounts, at its proper time and in its proper form (balanced) it will make your way to health, eaten out of control, in inappropriate quantities, at inappropriate frequencies and out of balance, it will make you weigh more than you want.

Today is a new day. A day of health and personal satisfaction lies before you and you are on the right path!
Drink up and de-flab!

[BerkshireGrl]

Nancy,

Thank you for your reply! Of course I still you If anyone can draw good things from my screw-up, I'm more than happy to offer this up as a teaching experience.

I'm sure there are people out there saying "WHAT was she THINKING?" The truth is, I worked hard to Not Think. I read this book early this year, called What Happy People Know by Dan Baker. This is a really fascinating book, and now that I think about it, I really need to reread it. Especially in light of my splat this week. It is full of helpful guidance, and not written in a wishy-washy, touchy-feely way. This guy knows what he is talking about.

A big part of the book focuses on how there are multiple parts of the brain, including a primitive "reptilian brain" or the brain stem; and the amygdala, or the memory center for emotion. Above these is the neocortex, the smarty part, that can do abstract reasoning, like "Nothing tastes like thin feels." The other 2 are not so smart and can take off running with primitive fears and wants in bad situations.

So, I let my dummy brain get the best of me and run my life for 6 days. I'm not offering up excuses, because really, my higher mind has the capability to say no!

I noticed that on the final 2 days of this binge, I tried to avoid giving in, by driving straight home from work and not going to the store. Instead, I got home, and turned around, and went there anyway. I really can say that now I know what it feels like to be in the grip of self-destructive urges. Thankfully, my "higher brain" finally stomped on the dummy brain today.

There are people here saying no every single day, and they stay strong. This is not an impossible task, but it is hard. Like that old saying goes, what precious things are gotten easy?

Thank God I felt awful from this. You're right on the money - it helps to get scared and to have that rude awakening. And thank you for all your helpful advice! I think positive DAILY affirmations are a big deal, and I admit I almost never do them. I sure know that when I was eating so much this past week, I was not here asking for help, or telling the truth about what I was doing.

This forum is such a big part of my success, and I appreciate it very, very much. There are so many good people here, and they are like fortresses of strength in the wild lands of temptation.

Life happens, and I'm going to say right now to myself that there will be more "bad days" where I get stressed out, depressed, angry, whatever. But having these feelings is not good enough of a reason to binge. Like others have said wisely, food is not going to make the problems go away. Instead, it will just add a sense of failure on top of it.

This is one of those affirmations I'm going to be drumming into my head too: "don't cave to the rave of food - YOU are in control! Food is an inanimate object. It has NO power over YOU. You tell food where to go."

Food, stick it.

[Nite Izes]

Hi Sarah,

Don't be too hard on yourself. We are all human and one way or another this happens. Believe me, I am there right now with you and since saying I am restarting Monday a few times, I have been trying to set my priority and stop beating around the bush with restarting on a certain date and just get to it. It seems my brain is saying one thing and my mouth is saying another thing.

I do not think it is a weakness, but for me somewhat of a rebellious or boredom phase and I do want to lose weight, yet I am entering a stage that I have to be determine and get back on track without distractions or challenges that I cannot handle. So I thought about it and say, if I don't continue where I left off, it will side track me and make me feel like I failed and stop altogether. So placing faith that I am strong willed and determined, I just keep thinking I will not give up and set my goals to even more smaller and tighter, by setting my goals to weight loss every week and month, instead of a set weight amount as I was doing.

I have lost almost 70 lbs in total so far and still have another 99 to lose and having that in mind, it is also a main concern for better health and life's sake. There is so much I want to do, once this weight is off and I can feel the day when I am not longer morbidly obese. Ijust have to believe that I can do it no matter what smacks me in the face.

[BerkshireGrl]

Hi Nite!

Thank you for your kind words... and I understand where you are too. You having lost almost 70 pounds is a BIG DEAL, and you certainly have the ability to get those final 99 off too!

I've only been on this for 2 months, but I can see how I go in stages: 100% compliant, then a 1-day slip, then back on, and recently, a whopper 6-day slip, then again, back on. Like Spidey pointed out today to me, what counts is the learning.

In many diets in my past, I would fall off, and give up. Truly, the longest I've stayed on a diet since 2001 would be 2-3 weeks. In October, when I read for the first time about Medifast, something in me snapped. It wasn't celebrated with fireworks and a parade, but there was a subtle shift to "This is it. You are going to do this."

It's truly sad that I had let food and alcohol take the place of real comforts in my life. I don't mean that in a "oh poor me" kind of way, but in a "Get over it!" way. Whether it's genetics, upbringing, or whatever, I can't fall back on crying that it's my destiny to be fat - or, God forbid, a drinker!

I made up my mind to do this, and it's going to get done... no matter what sets me back, I am going to get to 140 pounds, and it's going to be in the Spring of next year. I am going to celebrate my 34th birthday at goal, and finally have this scourge off my back. It's such a burden to be constantly thinking about your weight, or really, about being OVERweight. I realize that when I get to goal, it's not going to magically become a smooth ride. I am still going to need to be hyper-vigilant about gaining. Always. But... I will not be fat. No one who meets me, and you, in the future, is going to know that at one point, we were obese. We are both going to look thin and healthy, and we will have become the people we really are inside.

It is a mental game. Nite, you and I have this in front of us, and we can get it done. You just have to get your body in line with your Monday restart. Whether it's rebellion or boredom sidetracking you, neither one of us is done yet, and we are done with the quitting. If you need to break it down into X number of pounds off a week as mini-goals, that's totally ok! Sometimes pacing it out can be a bit scary... but as long as you ARE losing, you WILL get there.

Keep in mind what exactly you want to do when you are thin. Heck, write it out and stick it where you will read it every day!

For me, it's going to be able to run. I mean, REALLY run, not trudge along in a jog, but sprint. I haven't had this ability since 1993 when I was in college. Once, waking up late for a final far across a large campus, normally a 30-minute walk, I ran as hard as I could all the way from my dorm at the top of a hill, backpack bouncing around like mad... desperate to get there in time. Ok, getting there 10 minutes late wasn't great, but the fact that I didn't collapse halfway there was AWESOME.

I know there is an athlete biding her time inside this pudgy body, and she is gradually getting stronger... and LOUDER.

So, my wish for you for today, and tomorrow, is to amp up that voice inside you. It's in there, and it is saying it wants you raring to go, at that start line tomorrow...

[hawaiiwhatnot]

Sarah,

Bless your heart. I just love your honesty and the way you express yourself. Come on girlfriend, we're all extending our hand so grab on and climb aboard the train to thinville. We'll help dust you off from your fall. It's ok. You've got the right attitude. You're gonna get there. The main thing is that you keep trying no matter how many times it takes. We're not gonna let you ever give up. You deserve what you want.

May the force be with you,
Camille

[RavenKat]

Sarah and Nite - add me to the GET A GRIP Group!!!

We can do this, ladies. I'm willing to ride your tucchus if you ride mine. I am well aware that only I can do this for me, but a little tough love never hurt.

Happy Monday!

Kat

[Nancy]

Okay, Girls ~ this is Monday - you're on for doin' everyhing under your power to stick to the plan, right?

Check in at noon, 3 PM, 6 PM and 9 PM. Avoid the kitchen cupboards and refer!

You can do it!

[BerkshireGrl]

Sarah, live from the Tuff Luv studio...

Unfortunately I can't check in while at work (sheesh, dang slave-drivers!) but I am here to report that so far, so good!

Luckily there is not much evil stuff within my grasp here! There is a freezer-burned bag of tater tots but those are now in the trash-o-la.

Seriously, I'm in The Zone

And now, for the crazed last minute Christmas wrapping to get gifts ready to FedEx out tomorrow morning! Yeeha! I just had a shake to power me up.

Who me, procrastinate? Maybe later.

[Mrsshrinkinglady]

Ladies ,
You can DO THIS!!
We are all in your corner and I personally will be more than happy to
harass you if you like After all it is 5 days till Christmas and I work in a Hallmark store(can you say CRAZINESS) It would relieve some stress on my part and help you out at the same time
Hang in there and pull out something out of your clodet that you can't
fit into and HANG it in the kitchen near the fridge !! It worked for me
Shrink aka Mary

[explorthis]

After all it is 5 days till Christmas and I work in a Hallmark store

Do I dare tell my wife? She is a Hallmark gift ornament queen.... I mean she must own stock in Hallmark ornaments...

Do we get Medifast discounts? (laughing)

-Mike

[izabelle]

[BerkshireGrl]

Hello all!

Dutch, heya! I am VERY glad to see you back. It was your post today about me that is guiding me to follow up with you all and give you a little status report. Thanks for missing me, Dutch! Whatever my mental state or diet plan, know you can do this, and you CAN beat your demons.

As you all can see, I am at 195. My low of 192 in December was a great moment, and I am getting back there. This week I was at 192.5 before I ate a lot of salty vegetables! still trying to get the darn water weight off. God how I crave salt sometimes! Ack! I forget to use my Mrs. Dash or hot sauce instead in those moments. Not that salt is going to make me fat, but it's a bummer to see a 3 pound water gain in a day, ya know?

So, my MF cupboards are getting bare here. I only have a few days left of "supplies." I will run out of the shakes on Tuesday, and have some oatmeals/soups/hot drinks left to take me through Friday. Saturday the 5th, it is back to my old WW plan on "regular" grocery food like lean proteins, fruits and vegs, which I have slowly started to add into my diet this week.

I have had to take a real hard look at both my finances and my adherance to MF. I have lost 20 pounds on it pretty effortlessly, and THANK GOD have not piled them back on long-term in my holiday feed-a-thon.

But I can't afford to stay on it, right now anyway. To confess, I have been mostly charging my shipments since October, because the bill comes out to be about $100 more a month than I budget for food. But there is overtime coming up in my company, so I hope to take advantage of that, at least 5 hours a week. Perhaps then I can pay honest cash for my MF stash

Also, after 3.5 months, I am having a hard time staying 100% on program. I crave simple foods like fruits and vegetables, and even cottage cheese (Holy Moly! never thought I'd say that about cottage cheese.) I am not being driven to eat gigantic loads of bad-for-me stuff like pizza, cashews, or drink wine. Last time I did that, after only an hour, I became very nauseous, with the expected result. Glad to see that my body is becoming hard-wired to reject crap from the get-go, ha! Not that the discovery was anything I want to repeat!

I realize this is a downer for some of you, that I have not stayed on MF 100% to my goal. I'm sorry for that, and I feel kind of like a blasphemer posting this, but I know, really know, that I will not allow myself to regain those precious 20 pounds, no matter what plan I am on.

Losing weight is truly a head game I think. If you can accept a permanent LIFE CHANGE in what you eat and how often you exercise, you can be thin. No matter what way you do it, you need to have that switch on in your brain, to keep you at goal. Losing weight is hard, but staying thin is the true challenge. I was thin at my WW goal in 2001. I loved it. But I had not truly accepted that I needed to have my eye on how I ate forever.

It is just one of those things I needed to get into my head. Just because my thighs didn't rub together and I slipped easily into a size 8 dress did not mean I "got it."

Now, I get it.

Another thing I miss is the gym. This makes me laugh too, but I miss the natural high of exercising. Hard-core cardio for an hour is my drug of choice to beat the blues. I can't do that on 500-700 calories a day without becoming dizzy and weak and massively hungry. I worked out for an hour last Sunday, just on my 500 calories, and for the next two days, although I stayed on plan, I was STARVING. I would have eaten my couch if I thought it would fill me up in a healthy way

I know on MF this level of exercise is not recommended. But, well, I need it to keep my emotions in check. I don't grind my teeth in my sleep the night after a workout... I sleep more soundly... I breath better... my body feels more free and my wimpy back gets stronger. Plus my moods are smoother (I have less of a tendency to snap at coworkers when they add more to my pile of deadline work, heh!)

I'm not saying goodbye to MF, because I think it is a GREAT tool. My weight loss on it has been so fast (3+ pounds a week) and my health has definitely improved. Even my cholesterol dropped like a rock. The science behind its nutrition is rock-solid.

But I am going off it for the above reasons: 1) cost, 2) boredom and 3) restriction of exercise. I feel this is the right thing for me *at this time* but I am not ruling out that I am going to use MF in the future! MF has been a very good mental aid for me also - it taught me what proportions of fat/carb/protein to eat, and to eat 6 mini-meals a day to regulate blood sugar.

Learning how crucial the protein and carb balance was very eye-opening to me! Now I would never snack on rice cakes and a Diet Coke ever again, or have a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast. My eating habits have been transformed to be much more balanced. If I stray, my body lets me know exactly how bad that is. It's not worth the fleeting food black-out, lemme tell you.

The most important thing is regaining our health, and with that, our confidence. There are many paths to that goal, and while I am stepping off the MF path for now, I am going to keep reading your posts, and cheering you all on! If I get more Medifast, then I am going to be back here too, posting away! I might post periodically too, just to be responsible

Trust me when I say that I am going to continue losing because I have promised myself I will. My goal date is June 1st, 140 pounds. I am not going to spend ONE MORE Summer fat. No way, no how, my MF buddies. I'm going to be out there, swimming, riding my bike, dancing, going to concerts, climbing mountains, learning how to scuba dive... and hopefully also reengaging with the members of the opposite sex (Hey we all have our goals, hehehe!)

Before I go, I want to suggest a book for anyone soon to be in maintenance or just wanting to get some good tips on the head game aspect of losing weight: Thin for Life: 10 Keys to Success from People Who Have Lost Weight and Kept It Off by Anne Fletcher. Fletcher is a nutritionist who here profiles lots of people who have succeeded in keeping their lost pounds off for years. The wisdom in this book is really helpful, I've found. I bought it a month ago, and it's preparing me for the long haul!

Until then, shake on you guys, and Dutch, whatever method you choose, I'm behind you muscle-girl!

[DutchChoc]

Wow, isn't this a bit like calling for Tinkerbell and she appears?! Thanks, BerkshireGrl. I'm glad to hear from you and I understand all of what you said. I, also, ended up with high cc bills for charging my MF -- which leads me to believe that what I experienced wasn't really worth the $$ I spent, in my particular case.

Yes, it was a trip to Thinsville I went on, at high cost, alright. And by the time I got there, I was totally too hungry to stay. My fault? Partly, but I think the shakes-only set me up for that. The last month, I really was exercising feverishly in order to lose the rest, and in effect, I built some new muscles that clouded the whole perception. Drat.

I'm not exercising now, either. I don't do that during my "fat phase" -- this is exactly how it always goes. At some point, something clicks and I get started back "down", almost like a sleepwalker. And I feel good mentally and I contort myself into the prevailing "method" once again, and start reading fitness magazines and wanting "that body" and it keeps me honest and focussed for a while. THis has been going on nearly since time began, lol. The highest I get is about 165, knock on wood. (and then I really do hate myself and hate getting dressed and hate going to work, blah, blah, blah). I'm not a seasoned weight-challenged person, but neither am I a seasoned weight-unchallenged person. I just float in the veritable wreckage/beauty, lol, between places.

So, I'm glad that you're on track -- not another fat summer, etc. I don't think it matters a whit if it's MF marketing that assists us or any means that works. If I had been more successful managing, though, I would not have had returning positive feelings about MF -- MF as a "cure", which, in fact, it isn't, necessarily.

Just go figure how the miracle happened that you came by today on the day I thought it was you on your thread. I'm grateful for that. You've always been enjoyable here.

Your friend, Dutch!!

[Nancy]

Berkshire Girl ~

I just got back from Baltimore about half an hour ago and read your post. We have missed you and will continue to do so. Medifast may not be for everyone but we do know that when the program is carefully followed, hunger goes away for most people in about three days.

Exercise is a very important part of weight loss and weight maintenance, it is not excluded while Medifasting but we suggest that people wait until the fourth week to begin exercising. People who have not exercised for a long time must begin very gently so they don't wipe out their joints or injure tendons. For people like you who are used to exercising, we merely recommend that they have a shake just before and a bar right after a workout session.

Take Shape For Life helps us to optimize our health by teaching us to incorporate exercise into our daily lives on a regular basis.

Best of health to you, Berk and Dutch!